To be down and out YY

Posted: ธันวาคม 26, 2006 in Uncategorized
The very very terrible Chrismas Day in my life!
No gifts, no party, no  blessing , nothing special.
Just terrible stomachache , bad score in exam and feeling blue wiht my words.
Maybe these are gifts from heaven to teach me some lessons…
 To.. my Santa Claus
Chrismas Day would have never ment to me if i hadn’t studied in Christian School.
I have known many songs they sing in the church, ceremonies ans cerebrate Christmas like Catholic.
My sister is my Santa Claus.
When i was just a little girl I asked my mother to tell me about the story of Santa Claus and his deer.
I told her after i had listened the story that i didn’t believe. It’s just the legend.
On Chrismas night of that year I hang the sock on my window instead of a fireplace.
My sister told me not to open my eyes even i heard any sounds.
"Santa Claus will never give gifts to someone who see him"
"But i want to see Santa Claus more."
I knew that my sister would put the parcel in my sock.
I knew that she was my Santa Claus.
But i pretended to believe her.
So, i have Chrismas gifts almost every year until she gone.
Toay is Christmas Day.
Far away, my Santa Claus may sleeping with head on books
may doing her works
may celebrating with someone else
But when she back home that means she brings me a very meaningful gift. ^^
To you..
I never ment to hurt you.
But i don’t want to hurt myself too. 
Stop wasting time waitting for me.
Almost 4 years is too long. Too long for your broken heart ,for your sadness and
for your  persistent .
Everything you’ve done for me can’t change my empty heart.
Can’t erase my fear. I just don’t know the future when we move to different places,
not only you but also myself will change.
Right now nothing stable. I don’t want you to stuck in something that can’t be real.
I must let you go.
The word sorry can’t help i know but i still want to say it for you "Sorry"
sorry for your tears that i made it shed.
sorry for my words that hurt you


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